I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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