I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
