Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
