No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
