He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
