i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he thought i was a dude.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
