so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
