I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
