then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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