I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
