Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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