its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
