YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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