I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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