I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
