Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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