Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
