and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize