Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
