She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
