Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
