This girl is more easily done than said...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
