I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
