who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
