i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
