Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
