Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize