I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
