Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
