You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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