Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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