Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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