Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
