All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
