Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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