It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My breasts were aching with rage.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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