Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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