Sponge bath it is.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She's the barista slut.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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