i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Randomize
