He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
