who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
