Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
not ubering you a puppy
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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