the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
you never un-have a 4some
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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