Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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