With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize