Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
