I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
