You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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