you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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