I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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