dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
