I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
