NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my being single is dangerous.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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