my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
