you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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