First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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