Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
