is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
