No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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