my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
